Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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