either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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