Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
dude i'm inner monologue high
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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