i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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