Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
