I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
How many fucks given?
0.12846
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
