i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
