looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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