my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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