i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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