Nicole vs. Life
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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