I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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