So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
He felt like a one man threesome
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
