I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
