i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
