And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Randomize
