remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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