She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
