i permit you to call me
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
