i don't like sucking hair
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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