I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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