you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
