she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Pi�atas plus fireworks don't mix well
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
