I wish life had little blips of pornography
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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