She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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