I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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