i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
