I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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