with your own penis?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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