just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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