then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
