When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
