dude i'm inner monologue high
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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