This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
