You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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