i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
