I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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