Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
