sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
