he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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