Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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