You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
