I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
