Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
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