we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Randomize
