is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
