That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I still have a little drunk in my system
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
