She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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