I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
