Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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