so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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